Funny Golf Quotes

Funny Golf Quotes

1. Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’… shoot six… and write down five. – Paul Harvey

2. Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well. – Unknown

3. Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. – Arnold Palmer

4. Golf is such an exciting game. Whack the ball, get in the cart. Whack the ball, get in the cart. – Robin Williams

5. Golf’s three ugliest words: still your shot. – David Marr

6. I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s game: it is called an eraser. – Arnold Palmer

7. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. – Gerald Ford

8. I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. – Bob Hope

9. If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. – Dean Martin

10. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. – Thomas Mulligan

11. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. – Jack Lemmon

12. I’m not saying my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. – Unknown

13. It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. – Babe Ruth

14. It’s not hard to keep your ball in the fairway, so long as you’re not picky about which fairway. – Unknown

15. Pressure is when you play $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket. – Lee Trevino

16. Show me a man with a great golf game, and I’ll show you a man who has been neglecting something. – John F. Kennedy

17. Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex–wife. – Bruce Lansky

18. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie. – George Deukmejian

19. The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. – Mickey Mantle

20. The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. – Ben Hogan

21. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. – Billy Graham

22. The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing. – Phyllis Diller

23. The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. – H. G. Wells

24. They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken. – Raymond Floyd

25. To find a man’s true character, play golf with him. – P. G. Wodehouse

26. We learn so many things from golf—how to suffer, for instance. – Bruce Lansky